Sunday, 12 October 2008

No one ever wished they spent more time at work

I consider myself to be a fairly driven, ambitious person and yet when I really have time to think about it... I mean I have the time because I am a self confessed lazy person... but when I sit down and think about it I really just want to have nothing to do. I have just spent 2 hours (this is time which I will never get back even if I wanted to!) watching the programme Girls of the Playboy mansion. Now I am not proud of this viewing but I am ever so slightly addicted to this programme. Not because I can relate to it or because I am ANYTHING like the 3 girlfriends that Hugh currently has... although I would happily have their looks and figures (bearing in mind I stopped going to the gym whilst I waited for my official yearly subscription to it through work to start and a month on haven't managed to go back!) but the reason I watch this programme so avidly is because honestly.. I mean honestly that is the life to have! I mean these girls are living a very nice life. Sure they have to occasionaly kiss the wrinkly lips of Hugh Hefner but God we've all had to kiss Nans and Grandads lips and immediately wiped our mouths and minds of the experience so what is the difference? I don't believe any of them other than Holly (the main girlfriend) sleeps with him and so these other girls have it made! Bridget and Kendra basically have dogs to play with, their own rooms which are pink and girly and lots of clothes to wear (ok these are all branded playboy but god so what?It would be a small price to pay!) and they get ready for parties and they get new cars and dress up for fancy dress evenings and hang out with other girlie girls. I mean is this not the life to have? Or is it just me?

We all are in some way selling ourselves for what we want out of life and so their selling of themselves is a bit more basic but I could do the little girlie laugh and play with my hair and kiss wrinkly lips every once in a while for such a nice life! These girls never look tired or jaded... they never worry about money or seem to have arguments. They are emotional so ocassionaly you see them cry but normally because some other play boy bunny has won an award and is so overcome with happiness she cries which sets all the other bunnies off! Their main concern at this time is wiping the mascara from their tear drenched eyes and looking beautiful as they hug and laugh at themselves for crying through the tears. And Hugh just says they are sweet and then they are encouraged to carry on discovering their girlie pursuits. There is no pressure to this lifestyle. Realistically I'm sure I would be a nicer, more laid back person if my only plans for the day were hula hooping, playing with my dogs, bouncing on the trampoline and being nice to an old guy called Hef who actually doesn't seem to be that involved in the day to day activities. It's not a taxing way to live! And if it didn't make me a nice person I could pretend. It would be worth pretending for the lifestyle! God they aren't even expected to iron Hugh's silky pyjamas. Actually I like the idea of a life in pyjamas! What a perfect way to live... constantly dressed for lounging!

So now is this normal for me to feel like this? Is it something to aspire to? I mean should we be encouraging ourselves and our loved ones to go for a life like this? I accept it is not ideal! But let me ask you this... do you think these girls will look back on their time at the playboy mansion fondly? Sure! Why wouldn't they? They live is a bundle of pink fluff, it is fun and they are pandered to... so what is the problem? It is not something I had aspired to as a child but maybe that's because for most of us we never think that we will be able to have this kind of life so we don't bother seeing it as a possibility. Plus I can't imagine telling my parents when they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up with any convinction "I want to be a playboy bunny of course!" and they would look on me with pride in their eyes and say "wow what a wonderful career choice darling!".

Recently my Mum stayed with me in Jersey for 10 days. It was great to have her around and I took 2 days off work to hang out with her for her birthday. The whole time she was here though I was having to do work at home in the evenings and on my two days off I had to work for 6 hours in the day and one day I even went in to see a client for 2 hours. I had no other option. By the end of the week I was exhausted! So I soon felt like the walking dead. I was snappy and distracted by the work I had to do. One evening my mum insisted on watching Coronation Street (for American readers this is our longest running soap opera... as far as I know there is no American equivalent... all I can tell you is some of the actors no longer have to act because they have been in it for so long!) I can't stand Coronation Street. I don't know what it is ... but as soon as the music comes on it makes me feel thoroughly irritated. My mum however loves it and on one night it appears to be on twice on the one night... hell for me when my mum is here! As my Mum wanted to watch the second show I told her I would have a little half hour sleep. A snooze. A power nap if you will. I gave her strict instructions to wake me after Coronation Street and she promised she would with a cup of tea. I was asleep on the sofa in seconds. I was awoken by mum putting the cup of tea down on the coffee table. As she did so I jumped up and said "Shit Mum it's nine fifteen!!!" "So it is." She replied and calmly put the biscuits on the table. I jumped off the sofa and bounded up the stairs two at a time towards the bathroom undoing my jeans as I did so and trying to pull my jeans off without falling over. I put the shower on and jumped in. As I frantically scrubbed myself I realised it was 9.15 pm and not 9.15 in the morning. I hadn't over slept. I had no need to be in the shower rushing as if I was late for work. I stepped out of the shower and sheepishly returned to the living room. My mum looked at me concerned and confused and asked "you ok?". I was ok, I was just over tired and delirious..ok I wasn't delirious but it makes me wonder if my panic over being late and having so much to do at work is normal.I had basically slipped into a coma for 45 minutes on the sofa. This can't be normal. For the rest of the week my brother and sister kept saying that Mum said I was working really hard and long hours. I'm sure she is proud of me but I also knows she worries about me. And so if I told her now I was retiring to be a playboy bunny do you think she'd really mind? If she knew it was a better life? I doubt it. And so I dedicate this to Hugh .... Lots of love your next girlfriend! xx PS If any of you dare tell him my age I blame you for my lack of happiness!!!