Electric nights!

The first flat I had on my own was a small studio loft conversion. It was charming in its basicness... it had a coin operated electricity box in the kitchen which regularly got the pound coins stuck in it and I would be left with no electricity all night until I could ring the landlord... who I might add regularly ignored me. Eventually when he did ring me back the instructions were intricate and long winded. This involved applying WD40 with a cotton bud. This worked with amazing results. The coins slid in with ease and the lights were restored.

Little did I know that this was a time when electricity for me was easy! Never have I had it so easy! The next flat I had was a one bedroom flat with separate kitchen, bathroom and a living room. I was really moving up in the world particularly when I opened my first electricity account in my own name with Powergen. I noticed that within a few months I was getting lots of bills of different amounts each month but as I had a direct debit set up I thought nothing of it. I was paying every month so there would be no problem. Oh how could I have been so foolish? Eventually people started to call from Powergen asking for money. I would calmly explain I was paying by direct debit each month and therefore owed nothing. By the 3rd week of these regular phone calls my patience was waning. Funny thing is I don't honestly know how I stayed so patient. I imagine it was purely because I knew the payments were leaving my account. I was in the right there was nothing for me to fear!

As time went on the phone calls became nastier and were followed by letters threatening court proceedings and final notices. Eventually my evenings were spent with my temper rising as I read the letters and waited on the phone in a queue to speak to an advisor in India or some other far off place. One evening as the sheer frustration welled inside me like a volcano simmering before eruption I waited on the phone for 3 hours to speak to an advisor. I thought about hanging up many times in the 3 hours but instead I refused to let it beat me. My heart beat got louder and quickened with every passing second and my face was getting brighter and hotter as I listened to Sade over and over on the recorded message. Never have I liked that woman's voice crooning since. Instead of being easy listening it drives me to a state of insanity! My leg started to shake as it did in exams and I started to have imaginary conversations in my head with the call operative. I decided in my hysteria that they personally were controlling my electricity supply! I hated them already. I was ready for war. The armour was there, the passion was lit, all I needed now was an opponent I could battle.

"The offices are now closed, please ring back on Monday to Saturday between the hours of 8am and 8pm." I heard this interrupt the smooth, dulcit tones of Sade but could not believe what I was hearing. Had my anger caused me to halucinate? Was I hearing things? I listened as the message repeated itself! 3 HOURS, 3 HOURS OF MY LIFE I WILL NEVER GET BACK! And now, now(!) the office was closed! I threw my phone to the floor and burst into hysterical sobs as I had no one else to argue with! How could they do this? How could they leave me with everything unsaid! I would have to start again tomorrow. I would wait ALL DAY if I had to! I would speak to someone and that person alone would be made responsible.

Another similar night followed. Feeling exhausted on the 3rd night I phoned. Weary and broken down I eventually got a nasally voice answer the phone "Powergen - How can I help you?" Voice shaking with anger and exhaustion I started to explain the situation. Suddenly the lady butted in and her voice had changed from a sing song voice to a woman abused or personally insulted. She informed me that I had 5 accounts open in the one property. Frustrated and whiny voice from me responded "Why would I do that? I have one flat, one account with you and one direct debit that I pay for each month". A short sharp reply followed " You can't just go round opening electricity accounts all over the place, turning lights on and off and not paying for your consumption!"My mouth opened in shock and heard all the things I should be saying in my head but from my mouth came the voice of a whiny teenager " I didn't! I swear it! ". I was told someone would call me back once they'd looked into it.

Two years later and having moved to another property my time with Powergen had been over for 18 months. The relationship had ended but the baggage came with me. Powergen continued for 18 months to refuse our relationship was over and refused to let me leave with dignity. They believed I had multiple electricity relationships with them and they had all found out about each other. I spent evenings of teary phone calls from my electricity company who were begging for me to give them answers and accept that we were something we never were! Eventually Energywatch got involved and I was sent an apology for my treatment. I could finally move on.

And I did. I went straight to British Gas for my electricity and my Gas at my first 3 bedroom property. Confidently I paid my direct debit and then a year later, out of the blue- I couldn't believe it! Look who was coming back into my life! Powergen had started to write to me again. This time for my house. I ignored it and ignored it and paid British Gas every month. Finally after various court notices I spoke to Energy Watch again. By this time 2 years had passed and I was now living in Jersey. Suddenly Energy Watch informed me I was getting a refund from British Gas as Powergen were the ones supplying the property. This couldn't be. How could I continue to be involved? I wanted out of this relationship. I felt as though I was under the spell of the Moonies or some other cult but this was an electricity company! They just kept bringing me back to them. Finally I got my refund and paid Powergen. Suddenly it was over. The end of an era.

Yet British Gas were now starting to get needy. They didn't want to accept that we had never been anything more than just acquaintances! They thought I had a relationship with them. In fact they were charging me for a another house on my road. Having discovered this I was given a swift apology. A few months passed and it started again. My stalker is back! My electricity company wants to be involved with me as I started to get bills again from British Gas- the company who never supplied me with Electricity. Cunningly I changed my correspondence address to my mothers as I feared that I may have a break down if I continued to see an envelope marked British Gas. My mother now rings me and breaks the news of yet another billl for electricity I have never used and for the property across the road from my old house which has the illuminations of blackpool as a replica in their front garden. I however, am looking into solar power for my next property or maybe a wind turbine... whatever it is there has to be a better way!

So British Gas and Powergen if you are listening... it's not you, it's me - IT'S OVER. I'm sorry I've moved on!