Ground hog day... is the joke on me???

Ok so since the last time I wrote I have turned 31 though decided to leave it saying I'm 30 on my profile... mainly because what's the harm? In fact now wishing I had opted for a lower number... let's face it no one really would have known especially with my airbrushed picture!

Also since I last wrote my car has had a bit of a hit. Basically I pulled in in order to turn round and go back the way I came. I should point out my car is a white rust heap and there was a massive BMW jeep who was parked up next to me. The owner of the vehicle came out of the building and jumped in his car and immediately started reversing. Bearing in mind I was directly behind him you would think this was a bit of a stupid idea but to be honest the stupidity of what later happened has nothing on this! So he started to reverse without looking behind him and I knew immediately he was going to hit me. As he started to reverse I started to panic and although everything was happening quickly on the other hand I could see what was going to happen so time moved incredibly slowly. As I tried to quickly put my car into reverse.... not an easy task as the lever is very stiff and so there really is nothing quick about this car... particularly when you live in Jersey and the maximum speed limit on the island is 40mph. However I couldn't put it in reverse in time...my next thought of survival and protection for my car was "Ok hit the horn as hard as you can and shout in your own car". I knew he wouldn't hear me shouting "Stop reversing you idiot I'm behind you!!!" but as my horn didn't seem to make any noise as I pounded it he was more likely to hear me shouting than anything else. As I banged repeatedly on the horn I realised that it was the first time I had attempted to use it and like many other things in the car it didn't work. So instead I just had to sit there and watch him reverse into the side of my car and break the light.

As soon as the car had been hit the driver of the other car got out and immediately started shouting at me, "What the hell are you doing? You just drove into my car?" I actually laughed. Not because I had, nor because I thought it was funny my car was now damaged but that he was actually going to try and pull this one on me! My response was "you are kidding me!" I was stationary and my car was in park! He carried on ranting and raving at me while a vein in his forehead started to pulsate. I responded and got out of the car to face up to him. As I balanced on my flip flops...sorry did I not mention one of my flip flops rather bizarrely broke as I got out of the car... and I forced myself to stand up to him while I considered the fact that for no reason what so ever my flip flop had broken and now I would have to storm down to the shop I bought them in and get them exhanged. The injustice of his words were slowly but surely ravishing my temper and I was forced to behave in a frenzy of accusations. I told him that he was being ridiculous and how dare he suggest that I drove into his car. He then said that it wasn't his fault that he couldn't see my car out of his wing mirrors.... Sorry was it my fault? I really ought to make sure whenever I park that I can always been seen by wing mirrors. I told him that I had never had anyone hit my car before and I wasn't really sure what to do. Eventually as if he was giving me some kind of charity he said "Look ok ok we can sort this. Here is my card, get it fixed and I'll pay for it." I snatched his card of him and huffed and puffed as I got in my car before warning him that I would now be reversing and I would appreciate it if he would let me move my car before reversing himself. He didn't seem to take to kindly to this... but hey it was nice to get the final bit of sarcasm in after he had accused me of driving into him!

As I drove off my car was making the normal rattling noises together with some new noises which sounded a little like things falling off the car but I tried not to worry as I went to park my car in the extortionant car park which is a mere 10 minute walk from my apartment.

As I got home I was in a bad mood. Ok this is not particularly abnormal but I just wonder how bad moods develop so quickly and then set up a mortgage in your nervous system for the rest of the day. My mum was staying with me for a few days so she knew better than to talk to me. Next thing I knew there was a loud buzz of my door bell. I opened the door to the guys who were coming again about the shutters on my flat. Regular readers will know of the shutter guys who came to fix the shutters without notice and who I asked to leave when I discovered they had cut the cable on my sky tv dish (see Whatever happens you are not taking my sky dish!) Anyway it was different men this time but I couldn't stop myself I treated them as if they were responsible for their work colleagues. They asked me to open my back gate so that they could take off the bolts from the shutters. I agreed but as the locks are totally golden brown with rust I was unable to pull them across. It had taken about half an hour to get them on anyway! Eventually one of the men said "how bout i just jump over". I grunted and returned to the house. After all I had again had no notice of this and furthermore the agent of the property had told me that noone comes round without notice!

Now bearing in mind I only have 4 tv channels now and they are very fuzzy... when the men removed the bolts i could hear my mum saying "oh great now you've made the tv go funny". As the wrath of my protective mother started I could hear she was telling the men off for making the tv fuzzier than it was before. She then had them fiddling with the cut cable to try and get her a better picture on my tiny but faithful tv as she drank a cup of tea and ate biscuits and barked instructions at them "better, no worse again, better, there, stay there that's it... no it's gone again". After 10 minutes my tv was returned to the slightly fuzzy but not terribly fuzzy and we could once again make out most of the people on the tv. Eventually the men left and left the bolts off my gates once again so when i have a spare half hour and the cuts from the last time have healed I will go out and lock the gate again!

Now Mum has returned home and as soon as she got home she called me to tell me that she had a card through her door saying that British Gas have been trying to get hold of me at her address and that they had sent a representative round to talk to me! As fury grabbed hold of me ... you may recall that I have NEVER had an account with these people I rang the number given and luckily Keith (the British Gas guy) didn't answer and so I left a snotty message asking him to ring me and explaining again that I NEVER HAD AN ACCOUNT WITH THEM!!! (See Electric Nights if you want the full story on my British Gas torture... )

So I sometimes wonder if someone is playing a big joke on me... perhaps I'm in a tv show like the Truman show or perhaps God has a very sick sense of humour?... all I know is that there are days when life pushes you to extremes! This day is one of them... a groundhog day or just an average day in the life of Clare! The point is whoever it is that is responsible for this ... it's not funny anymore!!!! I refuse to be beaten and I will NOT end up in a mental institution because of British Gas! I will live without electricity if I have to as a mark of independence!I can take it!